Mending a Broken Heart

My apologies for the lack of presence around here lately. I have been trying to mend my broken kitty mothering heart.

Capistrano passed away last Monday morning, November 12th around 3am in the living room from natural causes that will be investigated before his ashes are returned (EDIT: it was FIP). These were my last parting words to him.

My dearest Capistrano, my Italian lover boy, joy of my life:

One hundred and sixteen days ago I fell in love with you the moment our eyes met and you climbed up onto my shoulder and refused to leave. For the first time in my life, I truly understood what love at first sight meant when you captured my heart. There was no question. We came into each other’s lives when we needed each other the most, as you helped me transition comfortably into my new life out on my own, domesticating and simultaneously acting as your faux kitty mother. You were my comfort, my contentment, my warmth, and my purpose.

Whether it was accompanying me as executive kitty baker in the kitchen, observing my every move, waiting for me at the door while I was taking a shower, climbing up my neck and never wanting to leave, showering me with a billion wet nosed kisses, using your little motor boat 24/7 regardless of what was going on, you fostered my life with unconditional love, and I am forever grateful. Throughout the disappointments and hardships, I could come home and find peace with you.

No matter what I did or could do, there was no solution for this unfortunate, unpreventable situation. I did everything I could to make your short kitty life on this planet as blissful as possible and fought for you to my greatest capacity. You were the greatest companion and furry friend I have ever had and could have asked for during this time. Your personality so unique, so affectionate, so incomparable to any other I have met. You were meant to find me, as I was meant to find you. Despite this fate, we made the best of the sweet time we had together and I am forever grateful. I will mourn for your presence, but keep close the tender memories. May your divine kitty soul rest sweetly and peacefully in heaven and fill the cups of other kitty souls with your sweetness. You will live in and have my heart forever.

Love forever and always, your kitty mama Kylie ♥

I have been dealing with this okay. It comes in waves. I decided to spontaneously pack my suitcase and head out on the road to California for a few days to be with family and friends, to be back to some familiarity and comfort. I couldn’t stand the thought of coming home to an empty kitty-less apartment. At this point, I do not dread going back, and I should get back into my groove pretty soon here. Thank you for your patience, and I am sure I’ll be back and baking up a storm very shortly.

xo

Comments

  1. says

    Oh Kylie, I am so dearly sorry for your loss. Capistrano was a beautiful kitten and always brought a smile to my face when visiting your blog. Take time to let your heart mend – cats are such sweet creatures, it hurts to lose them so.

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