After recently returning from my second excursion to Portland within the last four months, stuffing my face full of delicious and extraordinary top-notch cuisine, experiencing the best of some of the best there is, I’ve realized it might be wise to put all of that food photography to use and do some restaurant reviews. Somewhat of an overwhelming task, I have to admit, as I feel as though I’ve covered a lot of ground. But all the more to share with you!
I don’t think I met one meal I didn’t like. I swear, there must be something in the water up there. Chefs are held to a higher standard, perhaps? More creative and precise palates? All I know is that Portlandia = foodie paradise. And quite conceivably the number one reason as to why I want to plant my roots in such a place.
So here goes: I now present to you my foodie restaurant experiences from Portland, OR. Or, what I like to call, Foodlandia.
THE SCREEN DOOR
2337 E Burnside St
Northeast Portland ‘hood
Oh goodness. The dear Screen Door. How I love thee. My first breaking the fast meal of my stay. And it definitely set the stage. Arriving around noon time for Sunday brunch, the one hour wait was pretty inevitable. Running on practically nothing and ready to eat a horse, I convinced myself it would be worth the wait. After looking at their sample menu online (brunch, veggies) multiple times before I arrived, I would not be discouraged. Talk about dream menu! Every single item on the veggie menu sounded completely GENIUS. Any restaurant that incorporates winter root veggies like butternut squash, sweet potatoes, beets, parsnips, or chard is a winner in my book. GIVE IT TO ME.
The atmosphere was lively, loud, and full of beautiful Portland people: young, tattooed hipster parents with their gorgeous well-behaved babies, groups of fixie-riding hungover friends nursing their Bloody Mary’s, and couples so cute they make you wanna puke.
I knew I was in the right place.
Waitress with arms full of buttermilk fried chicken and sweet potato waffle dishes.
Delivering to a large group of hungover, 20-something year-old males.
They all ordered the same thing. And ate every last bite.
A side order of the sweet potato waffle and maple bacon.
Root vegetable hash with chard on a bed of parsnip puree.
Alabama scramble? With grits.
Thankfully my eyes weren’t much bigger than my stomach. I was happier than a pig in shit. Pretty much all of my favorite foods coming together in one awesome meal. Words cannot describe the degree of foodie contentment that came over me.
Most delicious comfort food ever.
One of the best breakfasts of my life.
I hope you’re convinced now. What else do you want me to say? Here’s more evidence, if you need it.
If you’ve never had a lesson in patience, this will teach you. The patience was worth it.
PS. The Portlandia television series filmed a scene in the kitchen of this restaurant, dubbing it as the “Porch Light” undercover. Can’t fool me. I recognized that yellow building and blue sign in an instant! Apparently the grandiose gastronomical chef culture of Portlandia has gone to the heads of Armisen and Brownstein. And probably a few others.